AL DUBAI ……
(Mojam Ma Ostojam men Asmae Al belaad wal Mawadhea)

Its before the new day sets in here, its before I lose the momentum, its before the impressions made in desert sand fade away, I hereby decide to pen my thoughts for one of the most exhilarating, soul stirring, electrifying visits I’ve ever had.

Objective: To celebrate the spirit of ONE TO WIN (wont go in depth – apologies)
Destination: Dubai
Team: 600 odd people -15 nationalities
Constraint Function: All under same roof, same sun, same desert, inculcating the same spirit, speaking one language, tracing the path to common goal
Methodology: Code of conduct was laid out-message was loud n clear..
CELEBRATE LIVE ENJOY n MOVE ON ......

For me this was an extension to my recent Goa trip where I soaked some sun with my family but this was different. We as a contingent reached Dubai on Monday night; ride to Al Bustan (official residence) was comfortable followed up by nice supper.

Tue evening we headed for Al Sahar in simple words magic created amidst sand dunes.. MAJLIS as they say was the way to celebrate in Desert and for us it was fine WINE n DINE under the desert sky. Then something happened that can’t be explained, there was a story intertwined in the sand background – it was Desert Opera accompanied by splendid fireworks, laser show, holograms conjuring Arabic images -riding on water fountain as a background. It was a fairy-tale, captivating, je ne sais quoi, iris has a limitation to expand and there was too much to absorb….you know what I mean...

Next was awards night- an event to celebrate the success of individuals and team achievements; there were some high adrenalin performances.

Then came The Day- here is a peek-a-boo -Toyota Land cruisers, six persons per SUV, all charged up to witness Sand Dune Bashing, there were 80 Cruisers dancing n boogying…it was Waltz on Sand and BY THE WAY – IT IS NO JOKE ( guess the line has still not been patented :-) The Caravan stopped in the middle of never land… Supper was served; to our delight we had FOUL MADAMES with Rice – OK its Rajma Chaval for the uninitiated ones :)
But imagine in the middle of desert you are served with Rajma, Dal, Muglai Chick’en. Mouth watering concoction of cuisines served with…some pampering….some cosseting, blended with luxury …..Sheer Indulgence

You meet people, you live with people, you make friends, you explore couture’s, you laugh, you mock, you ridicule, you become a kid, you behave like an adult, you are calm, you are on fire, you are caught unguarded, you are explored and you explore the unexplored …..
It’s Juvenile Rendition of unadulterated emotions …..

Last Day was for the Shoppers Delight… although I do not belong to this group of people but Mall of Emirates was good fun and you only have expression of aweeeeeeeee when you seeeeeeeeeee a skiing resort and cherish some of the magnificent moments.

Yesterday evening I was back to Mumbai and then to Pune; cherished this trip– some nostalgic moments and some sanity check…

This was Magic Created by some EXTRAORDINARY people who have put in some EXTRAORDINARY effort to celebrate some of the EXTRAORDINARY performances.

ThIS DeserT’S gonna be there for quite some time…and the impressions on sand are here to stay!!

Everything was in place, sun was the same, so were the roads, it was the same path I tread daily. I still stopped and looked around tried to find some answers somewhere, some hints or some insinuations. My roving eyes endeavored to find the reflection of incision inside to reflect somewhere outside. I was looking for correlation and the parallels, there were none? No assumptions no inferences could be drawn - the nature they say is biased. It was a diktat disguised as choice, I take it with a spirit to do the complete justice!!

Mid Air Masti......

Scene 1: Bangkok International Airport

Characters: Gang of brutes – Punjab de' sher,
Age: 35-45 From : Definitely Punjab
Purpose : God Knows if there was anything other than PATPONG

Curtain Opens
Anticipated Flight Delay for AI309 – 1 Hr.
(Just done with my long trip and was waiting and wanting to get back home. After all I was going back to Delhi after long time, so any more delay was not accepted but again 1 – 2 Hrs here n there, I was ok with that!!)

(Intermittent Glossary –
Jatt:- Hard Core Punjabees – defying physical barriers – u can find in any packaging …unchhe... lamme.... gitthe.... patle... mote…mostly with PAUNCH WHICH THEY FLAUNT and anytime on for peg that too patiala – preferably muft ki ;-)

This is my tryst with destiny in pursuit of TRUE KNOWLEDGE and PARAM GYAAN, I am trying to reproduce the conversation but due to dying gray matter I may infuse some figments of my imagination….. (Pls dont confuse Jatt from Punjab to Jaat - this breed is from Haryana)

Jatt 1 (the innocent 30 something) : “ Flight ek ghanta late ho gayee …Air India da na koi bharooosa nai kitta ja sakda, hoon ki karange”
Jatt 2 ( The Geek…The Wizard…The GURU) :“Flight chahe late ho, pahunchaye time pe hi”
Jatt 1 : “Ae kivein”
Jatt 2 (WORDS OF WISDOM….): “Puttar ji hawai jahaaaaaaj chalda hai 1000 di speed tehh …OK… hun pilot 1000 di jagah 1100 ya 1050 tehh chala looga ….”panja sooo” (50-100) idhar udhar koi farak nai painda…..ek waari utte chad gaya tehh zara jaye speed adjust kar leega…. pahunchaye saanu time tehh hi”
Jatt1 : “Oye hoye… ai gal hai”

I was listening to this 11th Commandment from "Jatt2" …filled with tears of intellectual enlightenment I was looking around for a small place …a li’l bit of space…so that I can laugh my heart out…
It was sitting under the Bodhi Tree ….Bingo – Just now I witnessed basic laws of aviation … “Jai ho Jatt2”

Scene 2: AI309* (Somewhere between Bangkok and New Delhi …midair)
Characters Description: Same Gang of brute, Jatt Co. (as it was all of them)
Age: 35-45 ( dint u see above) From : Please check above
Purpose : There is definitely no other reason pls see aforementioned one!!
Debutante

Female Lead 1: Air Hostess – * Pls bear with me I need to explain this dame. She is 59 something babe …who is wrapped in Dark Red Sareee (even colorblind can recognize this one due to the sheer wavelength emitted) She was dark ….pitch dark…
Female Lead 2: Air Hostess – Exactly same as above …add ons were the glasses that could easily have given inferiority complex to Preity Zinta in Kal Ho na Ho ….. and awe inspiring pony tail ...Jus ready for VRS party

(*I prefer sleeping once onboard but this time there was this nice couple sitting next to me and they started conversation and I enjoyed there company, I was as it is bit restless to reach home asap…)

And than there was moment of glory …Ms Air Hostess opened the bar and served drinks …my fav gang asked for Whiskeeeey ….(btw I was almost 3 rows ahead of them) jus next to pantry!!
Jatt Co. asked for more liquor

Ms Air Hostess blatantly refused : - “ Nahin ab band ho gaya hai kisi ko kuch nahin milega” Yes these were her exact words….

Jatt Co. got up from there seats and made calculated moves like pawns on a chess board for a mission towards Pantry - Lethal than shock and awe !!
There was ultra chaos and mayhem …I saw Whiskeeeeeeey bottle …beer …vodka ….bottles being sneaked away.... It was drunken revelry …

Jatt Co to Ms Air Hostess : “ Snackkkkks milenege” (*mind you its not the same pronunciation ...its snackkkkkks...not Snacks)
Ms Air Hostess : “Aapko bola na sab band ho gaya hai”
Jatt Co. “ Aise kaise band ho gaya…ander pada hua hai…aap leke aaiye….”
Ms Air Hostess: “Badtameez ladies se baat karne ki tameez nai hai” (*eeeeeeeeeeekkkks)

yes this was it...this was the punch line ...And there were bitter arguments …. how can someone attack on nobility of Jatts
And than there was moment of reckoning ….Jatt Co united and pitched against Air Hostess for Snackkkkkks …she was stranded and asked for help from male stewards …

When scene became bit sour …few people got up in support of Ms Air Hostess…. And then there were two factions and then there were arguments and then there was heat and more heat ….and then the hell broke

People got up on there seats and “ teri maa …teri %$#%$” It was all happening …collars hands ..strong verbal assault all on Boing 737 ….Wallah !!!!
Than after sometime one or two got hit …don’t know which party but with time everything calmed down and when we landed airport cops were there for hooligans

This was the first time I witnessed fight even worse than DELHI DTC ….trip to remember …..!!!!
Once again …Jai ho Air India….. tehh punjabiyan di shaan wakhri !!!

______________________________________________________________

BLUE TOOTH – HAIL TECH….
Yes, we all are enslaved by the technology in someway or the other, but what I saw witnessed today was the REACH part of it – mind boggling
I shall be leaving for Sydney and Bangkok on my maiden visit this Friday (yeah bit excited but this is going to bit tough) so as usual I shall start my packing two hrs before leaving and crib at the last moment. The funda is I am leaving tom for Mumbai, so i went with tonnnnns of clothes to ‘Mr. Dhobi’
(** Mr. Dhobi is 24 yrs old guy, heavy and stout, prefers keeping long beard says its gives him Abhishek Bachhan looks. His source of bread n butter is washing and pressing)

I stay in suburbs of Pune, where everything is monopolistic even our Mr Dhobi. He observes holiday on Thursday, so this was my last opportunity to get my stuff pressed. I gave him my clothes and went to collect it sharp at 8:30p.m. (Else Mr. D might just leave) Meanwhile, 8p.m. onwards, I kept trying his mobile number that was out of reach... I was shit scared that here I lose all my shirts n trousers (this is really scary ok when all ur stuff is with one person)

Toh bhagte daudte I reached to Mr D’s 4X4 shop – I looked up – thanked ALMIGHTY my hero was still there and pressing my clothes. I told him Mr. D your phone is not reachable, he said he is facing some problems with the BLUETOOTH I said WHAAAAAAT (with a shock n awe although it’s a sole proprietary of Dubya but still…) He said “BLUE TOOTH – nahin jante kya….dekhne mein toh pade likhe lagte hoon, check karo zara”. How could a DHOBI say this to me grrrrr…COMETH THE HOUR COMETH THE MAN said yeah show me ur phone… Now when he offered me his NOKIA 6600 I felt like running for covers with my NOKIA 66XX (some primitive model, see I even don’t remem the model number)
Huh, I am an engineer… I said Mr. Dhobi show me your Blue Tooth (now I have never used blue tooth, albeit, u know I Play It Safe, what to do with blue tooth when u have all white ones, eh..) so I started struggling, pressed few keys here n there went to some menus and again after pressing some keys when nothing happened good old trick stuck me (Fonda trick – keep reading) I confidently asked him “Band karke chalu karo” he said WHAT? I said “Bhaiya band karo aur chalu karo” (* I sounded so sure and confident that I was the one who invented BLUE TOOTH) he did it and BINGOOOOO I was the hero something happened and he was satisfied...... Mr. Dhobi was satisfied (*I again looked up – Almighty u exist)

I reiterated that I could not reach his number, he said “show me what number you are dialing” now I was running for covers because I named Mr. Handsome Hunk as DHOBI in my NOKIA 66XX…..he snatched my phone in a flash and checked out his number….. SOS he gave me killer looks as if I am the most mean character existing on planet earth and shud be chuked out of his sight w.e.f. I cried in my mind for MerCY and tried to escape his thorny glare.
Finally, he gave me another number that of CHOTU ( Mr. Chotu is some 12 yrs old boy who carries again a mobile phone NOKIA XX) mentioning if his number is not reachable I can call up CHOTU.
I gave him 20 Rs and left from that place thinking of immediately putting my thoughts on this J and with a lesson never underestimate a TECHNOCRAT DHOBI and simultaneously read about BLUE TOOTH on www.howthingswork.com .

Mumbai

Mumbai....
Finally, the day has come to bid adieu to the city, which they say, never sleeps – Mumbai, whatever it is it’s the pulse of metro. Again, I am falling in the inevitable trap of comparing Delhi and Mumbai. I don’t have my allegiance to specific to any one of them but Delhi is home so no comparison.
Mumbai rocks, realization slides in when I am leaving this place. This place has vibrancy, youth, noise, life on a fast lane …stop me now.
The BIG GARBAGE BIN….Yeah, this was the thought I opined, when I landed here May, 05.. Chatrapati Shivaji Airport to Mahim – Rs 500 and it was no cool cab, was I duped? I was all spruced up for an interview and the sheer number of slums one gazes through while traveling down shocked me.
VOYAGE..
17th June when i started sailing in this city formally. Work was good but to my dismay there is a flourishing brothel in front of my new office building - That was my day one!!!First two months were real pain. Ah Dadar station- someone frisked my wallet and mobile ...fortunately i got back my mobile... I was finding myself all alone. I was sojourning at Shivaji Park, walking down the Shivaji Park and seeing the sheer number of people strolling unaware about the existence of other souls and absorbed in self sort of hit me. Coming from north India where every look pierces you and wallah... if you are a girl, you would have two companions – constant glares and lewd remarks. Mumbai was different it moves on and on and on …Time flies, I had company and it was not that bad…Was I liking the place……My learning curve reached the peak …I adjusted …watching movies alone was not anymore taboo for me but when first time I did so I went into major depression. But tell me honestly do you really need anyone to go to movie with you – crap…. guess not …
WILD CHASE..
Now the time came to explore the city ..Thanks to Wikipedia, I first learnt about it and than cruised on my the expedition...Café Mondegar, Café Leopold, Jazz by the Bay, Pizzeria, cold coffee at Taj (old sea longe) Delhi Durbar and to top it all …BADE MIYAN conquest to the sumptuous journey to tickle your salivary glands…HEAVEN .....Queen of Suburbs – Bandra ..it simply rocks, this is the heart of the city ..Toto’s, Boat Club, Hawaiian Shack the list goes on and on...Another destination was Phoenix Mills ……Sports Bar, Copper Chimney and Gazali all you can find under one roof!Many more to go ..Juhu Marriot …Cream Center, New Yorkers …stop me ppleasse
Yes, I started liking the place, I was no more a Loner…it’s the city that has something to offer everybody …I liked the Sea …guess it speaks ...

Now after completing 11 months the diktat was to pack my bags again and move to Pune...
Ahhhh Pune ...again out of comfort zone and resistance to change!!

But those were awesome days... getting totally drunk and than boarding the local... made some good frnds too!!!

...would like to come back again and this time not as a stranger!!!

Salaam Bombay!!!!